The requirements that God has set before us as conditions for living as disciples are not to be taken lightly.
The decision to separate ourselves from the unbelieving world can be  one of he most challenging acts we can accomplish,
once we have received the spirit and power of God in us to recognize our purpose of being called out from the world for His purpose.
Once you are saved, a lagging of diligence in drawing close to God through His word can create struggles in your heart that God doesn't intend for you to experience. He has set before you life and death. He says to choose life so that you will live.
That life is in the word of God. That is your life line between the ungodliness of an unbelieving world, and the Kingdom of light 
 that will expel the darkness that will continue to envelope your heart with the seductions of suggestions that are plentiful in our society. When you make a decisive move to transfer your citizenship of kingdoms from darkness to the light, separation from the darkness will be an experience of freedom, that no one should ever regret. It is the work of the Holy Spirit that creates the desire in your heart for freedom. It is our part to respond by faith to that work. When you do, freedom comes as a planting in the heart. The new foundation of your life has begun.
If you have tried Jesus and are struggling with the feeling of being torn between darkness and light, you have yet to discover true commitment, and should reconsider the reason why you want God, but still want to live out a portion of the darkness that you felt like you needed to leave behind. God is not the one placing this confusion on you. He is a God of peace, not a God of confusion.
The indecisiveness in your heart is what brings on the struggle.
You are the one who said yes to Him. Follow His leading by listening to His voice through His spoken word, the Bible.
It takes a decision of devotion that should become a major part of your daily life.
That is where you must build upon the foundation of faith He has established in your heart. The truth of His word has the power to
overcome every obstacle of dakness you will face in your life.
Remaining torn between two kingdoms is not a good place to sustain yourself. You must call on the name of the Lord
to show you the way out of that condition. Although God will not compete for your attention, He will respond to the cry of your heart.
If He hears you calling, He will answer. Place your heart in a place of anticipation when you truly call out to Him for help.
This is what He is great at, the restoration of lives for His Glory.